Purple Tinted Glasses

Dog walking has become the first thing I do in the morning instead of the last thing I do before I leave the house. It holds me accountable for the number of times I press the snooze button instead of getting mad at the dog for making me late out the door. Well, I was still getting annoyed this morning because it was cold… and Boz wouldn’t just do his business.

I was fussing something at him like, “If you’re not gonna go, then we’re gonna go.” (I enjoy speaking to the dog as though he’s a small child that might one day understand and respond to all the complicated phrases that I ‘bark’ at him on a daily basis.) Anyway, as I’m walking down Dauphine, my eyes and mind concentrated on the dog doing doo-dooties, I look up and what do I see? Well, THE Oscar Meyer Weinermobile of course…

How random… in a historic neighborhood with stoops and wooden windows. My eyes lit up like a kid last Christmas morning (this year Santa’s mutual funds ate the big one and even though coal is much more affordable than last year, you won’t even get that in your stocking). I just laughed at myself because my crabby morning mood was crushed by a big yellow and red weenie! It’s definitely much more stimulating than the occasional faint sweet smell that drifts down from the Hubig’s Pie factory, but hey, that’s become the norm.

So maybe by my title, I found my muse… but for writing not painting. Here’s a short poem for those of you who are into that kind of stuff.

Primer

The prep work has started
the canvas sits blank
set up on it’s pedestal
anxious for the tickle of the tools.

The mediums are arranged
in their garden-like rows
sitting placidly dormant
preparing themselves for reincarnation.

A visual feast
is set to emerge
but the mind sits vacant
waiting for her muse to arrive.

The message below was sent to me which has sparked my interest in reviving my bloggy-blog thing. I can honestly say that I have not been happy with the things I have posted and the drafts that sit unpublished. I often times feel like I am forcing words on to the page just to have something to say. I guess that’s why I haven’t said much lately.

So much has been happening and I haven’t had the time or wherewithal to mention any of it. So here we go. Grab a shovel and dig in.

Accomplishments/Mentionings:

• I did the MS 150 last month. That was exciting. With hardly any training (see reason here) and on an alien blue bike, I made it through all 149 miles! Yes, I got SAG-ged for 1 mile because of a series of flat tires that nearly drove me off my rocker. I think I have finally regained all feeling that I lost in unmentionable places from that ride too. Special thanks to Will for sticking with me.

• I’ve played my first home game with my new team at our new venue, and we won.  I don’t particularly care for the new venue. It reminds me of a high school gym and smells like one too. I miss our flashy lights and being surrounded by quintessential New Orleans (Mardi Gras). We outgrew our home that all of our fans came to love. Now we just need to finish working out the kinks to get this one just as fabulous. Ibeatya painted banners, one for each home team and they are just amazing - as is she! We also need to sell tickets. They’re cheaper than they’ve ever been - $10. So, for those of you looking to do something this Sunday, Nov 9, you should come out and see the Big Easy Rollergirls’ Crescent Wenches and Story Villains duke it out. Centerpunch will be playing at half time and I have a feeling this is going to be one hell of a game.

• The house is CLEAN! It’s 30% my doing and 70% Will’s. I’m hosting some team meetings this week and next, which as Will says lit a fire under my ass to get some stuff put away.  We have company coming at the end of November anyway, but this just got me to focus on it sooner.

• I painted the back porch… all by myself! I’d like my gold star and my cookie now.

• I entered my late 20’s. This was #3 in a string of good birthdays. It felt really special this year and I have my other half to thank for the most of it. I also went to the DMV and officially became a New Orleanian. Bye bye Jefferson Parish.

• My house is rented… finally. The rent doesn’t cover the note, but I won’t be eating Ramen and mooching off friends for drinks… at least not as much as I was a month ago. The renter has also assured me that she is interested in purchasing in an undetermined amount of time. I guess I’ll save my official good riddance until then.

• I’ve been to an addition 2 or 3 Molly Ringwalds shows and have enjoyed all of them. One of them was even a festival down in… um… Well, I cant remember right now, but it was crazy and they were like rock stars out there. It was kind of weird. I had sworn off festivals because it just never is the same, but Sally and I made the trip for the sake of others’ sanity (sanities? saniti?)

• The rollergirls participated in the Voodoo Music Festival parade. We were officially “artists” for the day. Free drinks and back stage access is something that’s hard not to abuse.

• My best friend is having a BABY! I’ve been knowing forever and I’ve already been through the stages of denial: WHAT?! My friends can’t start having babies! No one can have babies! Babies are scary… but at least it’s you, not me. Ok, fine. You can have your baby, but you know the rule… Auntie Sherri doesn’t take them until they’re potty trained.

Ok, bored with me yet? Until next time… hopefully sooner than later.

(more…)

I was racing the clouds today. I kept seeing the end of the shade and it was keeping steady in front of me until I got up to speed. I think the clouds were traveling at a steady 36mph and the speed limit was 40mph, so I caught up eventually. Then the sun was in my eyes. When I realized how fascinated I was with it, I giggled out loud.

I was totally in my happy place, then let out another giggle when 5 Minute Oil Change on Airline Drive had a sign that said, “Ladies Day - $5 off on Tuesday.” Damn… today’s Monday.  My oil change was complete in 5 minutes as promised. It took them another 10 to process my credit card. Are you supposed to get a discount if it takes longer for them to make you pay than it does for the service they provide? Meh.

I think they over charged me for something too.. but at that point, I was just ready to get out of there.

Why do I think this is so cool? I guess for the same reason that I actually enjoyed going to see “Back to the 80’s, A Totally Awesome Musical” and why The Molly Ringwalds are my all time favorite cover band and the fact that I almost chose “Flux Decapitator”, #1.21 as my skate persona . Man, that would have been so fetch.

McFly’s 2015 Nikes

I almost went to Old Navy today to buy new jeans today at lunch, but I really want to wait a few more weeks and see how my WW meetings go. I wound up not going because I spent too much time in the kitchen today chit-chatting and talking about paint samples for the new house, with which I am becoming impatient not being in. I am also becoming more frustrated every day the “For Sale” sign is not in front of the house in Harahan.

I don’t read my horoscope as often as I used to, but I’m glad i didn’t read it today until after lunch.

Scorpio: Are you too focused on immediate gratification, now? Have patience. And don’t shop!

How bad do I really NEED new jeans? Well, the pair I favor has a rip from mid crotch to the back of my leg. The second pair I favor has little gnaw holes everywhere. The other two pair I have are not the right size. I bought them back when I was at my lowest weight since high school and they don’t fit anymore, besides the fact that one pair is Abercrombie and come with the holes already installed (I bought them because they were a size nine and actually fit my oddly shaped ass).  The last pair fit just like my favored jeans (same style/cut/brand) but I got a long line of paint on them back when I bought my house 3 years ago (I think). None of these are appropriate for work.

It’s not quite Portugal, but we’re so close we could spit on it… That’s right, we’re moving to Spain Street!

After telling the story in the office this morning, I’ve decided that I couldn’t have come up with a better way to spend the day with the new house. Some cheesy romance novelist would have a hard time matching it (ok, maybe not).

The morning was a half day of extreme productivity at work, followed by a ride to the CBD (hop in, Will) and loop right back around to (almost) River Road and Carrolton. We were right on time and ready to sign our lives away (again for me). After what seemed like not quite enough paperwork (after all the big talking from all the other home owners we know went on about) we walked away with a set of new keys, an orchid (my first) and a bottle of not-quite-my-taste bubbly.

The idea was to throw open the windows, for Will to work on my laptop (since his is still borked) and for me to sort ’til I dropped in the back room going through the mountains of crap from every decade since the 1960’s and from every inhabitant that’s ever been there, sorting into trash, yard sale (it’s gonna be a doozie), keep, keep for a little while because of the shock factor, and this reminds me of someone piles

About an hour into it, Will gave up on trying to concentrate and joined me in the back. He almost immediately found an old record player, directed me to the speakers that he had seen in there earlier, and grabbed up the old record collection that we had seen during inspections. Before long we were listening to Rubber Soul on vinyl in our new house while going through decades of crap.

We took a short break to walk the dog and grab a beer at R Bar. We also ordered Mona’s delivery and before we could even make it back, the food was waiting for us on the doorstep.

The sky was darkening, our tummies were grumbling, and the champagne was chilled. We put on our second Beatles Album of the day and plopped ourselves down on the hardwood floors in the front parlor of the house. The music popping and cracking in the background went perfect the the pop of the cork (which flew up out of the bottle on command) splatting of the champagne fizzling out of the top of the bottle.

We toasted in “What Would Krewe de Vieux Do” cups and ate until we were “stuffed like ticks”.

The night rounded out with a load of trash to the curb and a peaceful break on the front porch. Will dangled his legs over the side and I laid my head on his lap and propped my feet up on the column. The air was cool and crisp, the sky was clear… and the dog couldn’t get a grip on things. So he went to the kennel while we enjoyed a few more minutes outside. At one point I said, “You know, we should be on the second floor balcony.” and he said, “It’s awesome that we have that choice, isn’t it?”

Although we won’t be living in the house for another month or so, it’s our (or mostly his for now) and I can’t wait to spend a lot of time in a place full of history, charm, and potential.

So what was in those piles?

Trash: bills, receipts, rotten clothes, broken Christmas decor, moldy boxes, dead rats, syringes, condoms, wire hangers, empty boxes, mildewed clothes…

Yard sale: Enough Christmas stuff to decorate the entire Marigny, cookware, easter decorations, more Christmas decorations, entire boxes of “Be a Bone Marrow Donor” teeshirts (these are going to the homeless shelter), cook books, an entire Christmas tree, Halloween stuff, fuzzy bunnies, five star binders, shoes (mens, size 6 or 7?)…

Keep: The record collection, Nieman Marcus silver serving utensils, blue glass blocks, South Park wind up toys, a copy of Cujo, some yellow mixing bowls, bible spines, altar sashes, letters addressed to the church at our (new) address, one single Christmas decoration, a bronze unicorn statue, a small unicorn magnet, a claw foot tub (for plants in the back yard), a reem of paper, a new chew toy for Boz…

Keep (shock factor): The box of VHS gay porn, signed photos of half naken men that read “Keep on Coming” (among other things)

This reminds me of someone: Christmas ornaments, NOMA event posters from 1985…

H0Ly cr@p! Almost forgot the most exciting find: The sign for the old church.. wood carved, gold painted… the works!

I’ll fess up. I usually use one styrofoam cup a day for breakfast. I make my oatmeal in it. Then I eat it with a plastic spoon. I do this 5 days a week.

I realized this morning (while eating my oatmeal) that I used 3 styrofoam cups and plastic spoons all by myself in just one day yesterday. I had my afternoon snack in one and a cup of coffee in another (of which I only managed to take 3 sips before leaving the office for the day). I did have a perfectly usable coffee cup on my desk from the morning, but it was half full and dirty.
Every time I do this, I hearKelly in my head saying something about plastic spoons sitting in land fills for 100 years (or some equally absurd but probably more accurate number). She’s also constantly nagging me about tanning beds too (in my head, not in person). Haven’t been to one since we had a little chat in the car almost a year ago. I wear sunscreen more willingly now. Not that I didn’t wear any before, but I opted for the silly spf 15 tanning enhancement stuff. Now I reach for at least the 40.

Yay me.

Here I am, two days before something’s due to the printer (more like 24 hours) and I haven’t started yet. It’s not that hard. Most of the work is already done. I kind of just forgot about it with everything else going on right now. I’m not stressing yet, but I don’t feel well and can’t keep my eyes open.

I keep having these days. You know, days where I wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something equally traumatizing.

Nothing feels right or sound right. Nothing seems appetizing except cold icing out the can. Coffee doesn’t help. I remember that twice this month I had to pull large sums of money from savings in order to keep up with the bills. I have no time to tend to my newly half empty house. People don’t listen when you ask them nicely for materials to make your life a little easier.

That and it causes me to post entries at work; which, I’m sure is a huge no-no. (My brain is pulsing trying to figure out the correct punctuation for this sentence.)

Then I remember, that there’s a dandy little song (I call it my “make me happy” song), performed by Clint Maedgen and Preservation Hall Jazz Band, featuring members of The New Orleans Bingo! Show and the New Orleans community, ALL filmed in one continuous shot throughout the French Quarter, which makes it just that much more awesome.

I give up.