Purple Tinted Glasses

I was racing the clouds today. I kept seeing the end of the shade and it was keeping steady in front of me until I got up to speed. I think the clouds were traveling at a steady 36mph and the speed limit was 40mph, so I caught up eventually. Then the sun was in my eyes. When I realized how fascinated I was with it, I giggled out loud.

I was totally in my happy place, then let out another giggle when 5 Minute Oil Change on Airline Drive had a sign that said, “Ladies Day - $5 off on Tuesday.” Damn… today’s Monday.  My oil change was complete in 5 minutes as promised. It took them another 10 to process my credit card. Are you supposed to get a discount if it takes longer for them to make you pay than it does for the service they provide? Meh.

I think they over charged me for something too.. but at that point, I was just ready to get out of there.

I feel like every waking hour that I have not been at my day job, I have been doing something for everyone and anyone except myself. Call me selfish… but if I have to spend one more minute on something as thankless and hateful as it can be some times, I might just break down. It’s not all thankless and it’s not all hateful. I just hate it right now because it keeps boomeranging back to me. I just can’t seem to get rid of it. Sorry Jack, that I keep forgetting to even send you a txt msg to say Happy Birthday. This is why.

That’s one.

I am also addicted to good tasting, bad for you food. I’m tired of being heart healthy. I’m tired of not seeing results. I want a gallon of ice cream on top of a whole white pizza with Tomatoes from Slice and my ranch dressing to dip it in - on top of a gross of crunchy rolls from ShoGun and I want to wash it down with a big ol’ fat juicy rare steak - then I want to pick my teeth with pasta doused in Alfredo sauce.

That’s two.

The house, the one that I’m trying to sell… I can’t keep it clean to save my life. I get home, I dump where I’m standing, I pick up as much as I can and I can’t find places for everything else. My mom cleaned my house this weekend and then I couldn’t find anything because it wasn’t on the floor. My bathroom light hasn’t worked for over a week now and everyone who said they can try to fix it hasn’t even attempted.

That’s three.

My knee hurts a little. Enough to where walking down stairs can only be done one at a time.

That’s four… even though it could give me a break from number one.

And lastly, I’m just so freaking tired. I can’t keep my mind on work. I’m ready to move into the new house. I’m ready to be out of the old house. What sucks the most is all this complaining and I don’t really have any problems in the world and I feel guilty for feeling so pressured because of my insignificant “problems”. I have a job, I can afford to eat something every day, I have a car and friends, and most importantly… I have family that loves me and a boyfriend that tells me not to push my luck.

My biggest problem is having too many friends and too much family time that my calendar never seems to free up. Like this weekend… I thought I didn’t have anything to do. Friday night is suddenly two things (I need to pick one), Saturday is suddenly two things (in addition to the one I already do anyway). Sunday will probably turn into a disaster filled with fun and games and drinking.

So… yeah, no problems here.

It’s almost as bad as all caps.

ugh

I’ve decided that every so often, a good old fashioned temper tantrum is in order. Or maybe well deserved? Alright, fine. I threw a hissy fit yesterday and I really can’t think of a way to justify it. I managed to throw a lot of things around (mostly soft things like bed spreads) and kick everything on the floor (hurting my right big toe) except for the pile of clothes on the bathroom floor. This very same pile later revealed what I was looking for.

I misplaced my badge to get into my work building. Had I not woken up at 5:30 am to ensure that I would get there a little early to catch up on some things, then maybe I would not have been so angry. Stack this on the fact that my house feels like a human pig sty. It’s not filthy. It’s just cluttered, misplaced and thrown about.

I wouldn’t say that I don’t have time to clean it. I just don’t know what to do with all of my crap. My house is not that big. I don’t have THAT much stuff. The only way I think I can feel comfortable is to just get rid of everything. Unfortunately, I’m a pack rat with a neat freak complex.

Last night was a very exciting, slightly long (7pm-past midnight) team meeting/sewing circle.

I’m a very “instant gratification” type of girl, so imagine my agony when:

1. Upon taking measurements, realized that I had the wrong pattern size. This forced a trip back to walmart to address the issue.

2. Getting the end of the night, pinning things together, and have 4 pieces missing. Two sets of 11/16’s to be exact, with no more lining to be had to even try to rectify the situation. Just so happens that Bea’s boutfit is one of those 16’s. This is AFTER a small group of us stuck it out to make sure that ALL cutting was done at one time just to make the process go faster. I can’t make Sunday’s boutfit making session, so I only hope my pieces get cut and things start getting sewn.

I know this will all be ok in the end. But, damnit, damint, damnit, damint.

Apparently, if dreams were real, this is how long I have left to live unless I find the proper donor. Donor of what? I can’t remember. Although, death in nine days “unless” it is not considered terminal. Not in dream land. I basically spent my night last night thinking that I will soon be six feet under. There was present some Jumanji of a board game, where people from my past (whom are not very fond of me anymore, I’m sure) were forced to play in order for a chance to save my life. That’s not comforting. I was beyond relieved when I woke up to find that it was only a dream, at least.

My bad feeling escalated on the way to work when I realized my schedule for the next couple of days:

• Tonight: Practice, food, pack
• Tomorrow: Work, airport, Orlando, laptop in hand to start designing bout programs
• Saturday: Orlando, IBIE, LSU football game at a bar, BERG program work
• Sunday: Orlando, IBIE again, maybe some food, freelance (that I don’t get paid for) until I drop dead
• Monday: Airport, work, make myself up to look fabulous, Karaoke with the Rollergirls (Just remembering I need to print out flyers today, as well)
• Tuesday: League Meeting, program design
• Wednesday: I rest. But I want to paint my house. Maybe I’ll do this here, but then again, there’s that program that’s still not finished. Although this day is usually reserved for dinner and Dexter. Choices.
• Thursday: Practice. Slice. Program.
• Friday: Thankfully, nothing on the calendar yet. Hopefully the stinking program is done by now.
• Saturday: Practice. Zoo. Picnic. LSU vs. Kentucky
• Sunday: Practice. Maybe I can do that painting stuff here!
• Monday: Files to Printer. Managers’ meeting. That’ll take up the whole night.
• Tuesday: Flake out. Maybe wrap up uniform for the weekend.
• Wednesday: Possible Audubon, Dinner, Dexter
• Thursday: Practice
• Friday: Rally night at my high school. I may be a judge. I’ll find out soon enough.
• Saturday: Bout Day, LSU vs. Auburn
• Sunday: REST. (you realize that this day is Oct 20th… today is Oct 4)

So, I got carried away. I don’t see much room for sleep. Maybe it’s only until Monday, October 15 that I need to worry about. Then again, that’s pre-bout week and I’ll be stressing anyway. My birthday week follows. I’ve already decided I don’t really have time to celebrate this year.

One day at a time, right?

Glossary of terms:
IBIE: International Baking Industry Expo, in Orlando. I designed the booth graphics
Orlando: Where I will be, mostly for work, to train to do more tradeshows.
BERG: Big Easy Rollergirls. My full time leisure activity.
Program: Bane of my existence.
Practice: Depending on the day: Geared up, physical activity from 8-10am or 6:30-8:30 PM